September 25, 2012

The End

First off, I am guest posting over on Love, Fun and Football today and sharing all of my favorite things to do in the Fall.  Go over and check it out {here} and make sure you follow Erin while you're there.  She's the awesome blogger who set up the fantasy football league.  My kinda girl!  Although let's not talk about how I'm doing in the standings.  My boys Aaron and Donald didn't do much for me last night!

If you're new to the blog today, I apologize that the first post you're reading is about breastfeeding.  It's just what's on my mind today, sorry :)  Feel free to read yesterday's post about my little guy turning 1 month old.  It at least has cute pictures :)

One thing I didn't talk about in my post on Saturday about my hospital stay was breastfeeding.  I already have mentioned on here that it wasn't going as well as it did with Kyla.  Actually it started out great.  Unlike Kyla, Kase latched on right away and the first few days (first week actually) went really well.  And then my supply started to really slow down and I have no idea why.  We started having to supplement to keep up with Kase's demand.  I was ok with this knowing that at least every single ounce I did produce, he was getting.

Well, then all of this craziness happened with me being in the hospital.  To make a long story somewhat short, all the medicine I was on and everything going on with my body completely dried me up.  They told me I'd have to pump and dump for a good couple of weeks because of all the pain killers I'd need.  I tried pumping while in the hospital for those couple of days.  But by Friday, there was nothing.  Zilch.  Dunzo.  The End.

I had a minor emotional meltdown while laying in the hospital alone Friday morning.  Yes, my baby got 3 weeks of breast milk.  But I wanted to breastfeed him until he was 6 months like I did with Kyla.  I know formula is ok.  I know he will be fine.  But if you've been through something like this, you know there is just a guilty feeling that it is hard to let go of.  I've made it known that I don't enjoy breastfeeding.  But I make sacrifices for my children.  I will do anything for them.  And I wanted to continue giving him what I believe is the best thing for him.  Obviously I can't help needing to have my gallbladder removed so I am accepting the fact that I couldn't do anything to prevent this.  Even though I will always put my kids first, this time  I had to take care of myself in order to be here for them.

Tyler and I are both formula fed babies and we turned out great (at least I like to think so) so I am not worried.  I guess I just needed to get all this off my chest to make myself feel better.  Thanks for bearing with me :)  I'm thankful I was able to give him my milk for 3 weeks.  I'm thankful I have two healthy children and a husband who love me and support me no matter what.

And hey, let's be honest, being able to wear normal bras again, not leaking milk everywhere and not waking up in pain because my boobs are going to explode are all things to look forward to.  Sorry if that's a little TMI for some of you, but it made me smile :)

Another reminder...my Thirty-One contest ends tomorrow night at 8:00 so go over to my Facebook page and enter.  It's such an easy way to win an awesome bag!

3 comments:

  1. Amy, you have done amazing, especially considering everything you have gone through! Sounds like I don't need to tell you that though, I think you are looking at it all so positive. :) And, like you said, look at all the positives on not having to breast feed anymore - ha! :)

    Can't wait to check out your guest post later today. How fun that you did that!

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  2. I was breastfed and my brother was formula fed---and I've always been 1000 times more sickly than him! lol. I always stopped breastfeeding between 4-6 months partially because I didn't like it and partially because I needed to start my arthritis meds again. Like you said, there are lots of positives on your end to being done! And Kase will be totally fine :-)

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  3. You are an amazing mama, Amy! The circumstances have been completely out of your control, and you needed to take care of yourself FIRST, before you could take care of hubby & the kiddos. There is nothing wrong with formula & Kase will be just fine! And hello, no more babies stuck to your boob, the freedom you will now have, you aren't the only one responsible for feeding him....the positives are endless! :)

    And did you hear who is the next Bachelor?! So excited to watch Sean!!!

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